When life is messy

I have begun pressing into this idea of me being enough, just as I am. There is so much pressure in society to be something different than who we are created to be.

There is pressure to look a certain way, to act in ways that we don’t feel, and to create masks that hide our true selves. It can be easy to create a mask through social media, how we choose to dress, and how we act around others, but I am learning to embrace who I really am. It's okay to have grace for this person that I am, and okay for me to be human.

Being human is incredibly messy most of the time. My emotions are too complicated to wrap up like a Christmas present, tied with a bow. That’s the reality of this journey we call life. We are enough just as we are. We don’t have to do anything different than just be ourselves.

Over the years, I've tried to change myself through shrinking my body - trying to become someone I thought the world wanted me to be. Lying to myself that I was okay, I tried to fit into different groups of people the way I thought they needed me to be.

Ultimately, I cheated myself out of years I could have spent being my true self.

I am still figuring out who I really am and what my role is in this beautiful, chaotic world we live in. A therapist once told me to say to myself, “I am not just a purging anorexic, I am also a beautiful daughter of God.” That has stuck with me for years.

I think so often, we can lose sight of whose we are in light of who we think we need to be. God delights in each of us individually - we are loved, valued, worthy, and deserve to extend grace to ourselves.

We are loved just as we are, and that is enough.

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